You Might be a Liberal, Part 1

By Colonel Mike Angley

In the spirit of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s popular ‘You Might be a Redneck’ shtick, the author offers a lighthearted (but with sobering tone) self-examination guide for the political left. Since there is SO MUCH that can be written about this subject, we’ll do it in two parts.

  1. If you believe aborting babies is cool but oppose the death penalty on lofty moral grounds…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you love big government spending on social programs but despise a strong military and its costs…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you want the government out of your vagina but demand taxpayers foot the bill for things you put in there…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think only Republican presidents need adhere to the Constitution but cheer a Democrat who trashes it…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you personally hate guns but demand government restrict EVERYONE from owning them…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe a woman has the right to decide what’s best for her body but insist government force vaccinations on children’s bodies…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you define ‘reaching across the aisle’ as Republicans caving to all left wing Democrat demands…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you judge a man by the color of his skin and not by the content of his character…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you chant the lefty mantra that abortions should be ‘safe, legal and rare,’ but really mean ‘subsidized, unrestricted and abundant,’ …you might be a liberal.
  1. If you have a hard time understanding why a national gun registry is a danger to the Second Amendment…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think merit-based hiring is evil but affirmative action is necessary…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think ‘laissez faire’ is French for ‘poopy economics’ but want Bernie Sanders/Venezuelan style socialism to run the economy…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe free markets are bad and that government must command the economy Chairman Mao style…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think White Privilege is a real thing…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you melt down like a warm snowflake at the mere mention of President Donald J. Trump’s name…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think Common Core is ‘like totes kewl’ but despise the freedom in school choice and vouchers…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think embryonic stem cells are vital human tissue that need to be preserved but a fetus is a nonhuman clump of cells to be suctioned out and destroyed…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think fossil fuels are evil, disgusting and crude forms of energy but drive an electric car that requires electricity generated from a coal-burning plant…you might be a MORON (okay, and a liberal, but I repeat myself).
  1. If you believe in Global Cooling/Warming/Climate Change or whatever new name ‘scientists’-turned-political hacks come up with to explain why the last theory failed…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe gun control reduces gun crime and you live in Chicago (and haven’t been gunned down yet) …you might be a liberal (a lucky liberal).
  1. If you think someone has a ‘right’ to healthcare, insisting it’s in the Constitution…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you scream ‘Church and State’ when a student wears a cross to school but applaud when schools teach Islam…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think government, which can barely run the local DMV office well, can manage healthcare…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think government subsidies to the oil industry are ‘Corporate Welfare’ but subsidies to solar energy companies are noble and necessary…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe ‘welfare to work’ is an unfair expectation, that half the country needs to support itself as well as the other half who don’t work, …you might be a liberal.

Watch for Part 2 of ‘You Might be a Liberal,’ coming soon!


Colonel Michael (“Mike”) Angley is retired from the United States Air Force, a published thriller author, and a conservative writer who fashions himself as Attila the Hun with a laptop. Mike wrote for Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government and Big Peace blogs before the Breitbart consolidation, receiving superb feedback and kudos for typically weaving in pop culture references with his far right perspectives. He enjoys writing about military affairs, national security issues, and politics and is an avid Second Amendment advocate. When he’s not writing, he’s busy annoying liberals with FaceBook posts and Twitter tweets that point out the obvious flaws and fallacies of the left.

During his 26-year USAF career, the Colonel was a Special Agent with the Office of Special Investigations (OSI). The OSI is a sister agency to the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) and has an identical mission that includes felony-level criminal, fraud, and narcotics investigations as well as counterintelligence and counterterrorism operations. His USAF experiences spanned multiple regions around the globe with five command assignments and duties at foreign, regional, theater and national levels.

He is a seasoned counterintelligence and counterespionage officer from the Cold War era, and if you ask him he’ll tell you the spy-vs-spy days were indeed the heady, glory era of espionage. During the latter half of his career he focused on counterterrorism missions in the Middle East and the Far East and operationalized many of today’s concepts for this unique arena while working the sand dunes of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and a few other “choice” locations. When Colonel Angley retired in 2007, he was a Senior Supervisory Special Agent and was in command of all worldwide OSI matters at Air Force Space Command in Colorado Springs, CO.

Mike Angley is also a published, award-winning author of three thriller novels in the “Child Finder” trilogy. His debut novel, “Child Finder,” received a glowing review from the Library Journal which placed it on its Summer Reading list in 2009. “Child Finder” and its companion sequel novels all won various awards from the Military Writers Society of America (MWSA) and the Public Safety Writers Association. In 2012, Mike was named MWSA’s “Author of the Year,” largely for work on his third novel, “Child Finder: Revelation.”

As an avid user of social media, Mike can be found and friended on Facebook (mike.angley) and followed on Twitter (@MikeAngley). His website is www.mikeangley.com. Following his USAF retirement, Mike and his family stayed in Colorado Springs, CO where they enjoy daily, majestic views of Pikes Peak and the Rocky Mountains.

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