You Might be a Liberal, Part 2

By Colonel Mike Angley

The author hopes you enjoyed Part 1 of ‘You Might be a Liberal’ which appeared on this site on January 31st. In the spirit of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s popular ‘You Might be a Redneck’ shtick, Part 1 and this follow-up article present a self-examination guide for the political left. They also serve as a source of snickering humor for those of us on the right. We ALL know someone who fits many, if not most, of these examples. The list continues…

  1. If you’ve ever dressed like a giant vagina…you might be a liberal (and an idiot, a total buffoon, but I repeat myself).
  1. If you think Black Lives Matter is a noble, honorable, and decent civil rights group but overlook its violent, hateful call to kill cops…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think Christopher Columbus was an interloper who destroyed America but duplicitously make your home in the very land he ‘poisoned’ …you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think airport passenger profiling is wrong but you fervently profile President Trump’s cabinet for an ‘acceptable’ level of diversity…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you accept that government can demand a photo ID for virtually everything you do but think it’s racist to require one for voting…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe Republicans are racists but ignore the Democrat Party’s slavery history, founding of the KKK, establishment of Jim Crow laws and rejection of the Civil Rights Act…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you march for LGBT rights but embrace Islam despite its penchant for murdering gay men (tossing off rooftops seems to be the preferred method) …you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think only law enforcement officers should have guns, but at the same time the police are pigs…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you ‘ve ever used goofy, made-up gender neutral pronouns like ze, ve, per, hir, or sie…you might be a liberal.
  2. If you engaged in tortured logic to justify Hillary’s criminal activities, selling government access for Clinton Foundation donations, abuse of her husband’s sexual assault victims, email damage to national security and cheating to win the Democrat primary…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think President Trump was undignified for saying the P-word 20 years ago but find dignity in dressing in oversized P-word costumes…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think Barack Obama was the best Democrat president in history but ignore his destruction of that party at all levels of political office…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you’ve ever considered Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert to be legitimate news sources…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think the US has a moral obligation to welcome any and all immigrants, even if illegal and/or dangerous, but respect Mexico’s strict immigration laws…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you ignore the fact that nearly 100% of terror attacks in the last few decades have been by Muslim males and you think we should welcome Muslim refugees without vetting…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you acknowledge the rampant Muslim refugee violence and terror in Europe and think we should take that same risk in the US…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you cling to the Constitution’s Establishment Clause (or actually believe the words ‘church and state’ exist in it) but dismiss the equally-weighted Free Exercise Clause…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you cheered Obama’s unconstitutional use of ‘pen and phone’ but decry President Trump’s Constitutional eraser…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think the government can force a business to bake a cake against principle but support a business that refuses to serve Trump supporters out of principle…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think privatizing Social Security – even a smidgen – is too risky but support government’s continued abuse, mismanagement and destruction of it…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe the top 5% of wage earners, who pay 95% of all taxes government collects, don’t already pay their ‘fair share’…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe a nation can actually tax itself into prosperity…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think the United Nations actually does any good (and when it comes to its bashing the USA you are ‘like totes kewl’) …you might be a liberal.
  1. If you believe terrorism is cause by Global Warming or a lack of jobs and NOT because a guttural, hateful religion inspires jihadists…you might be a liberal.
  1. If you think Obama’s economy was miraculous despite doubling the National Debt to $20 TRILLION, having the lowest workforce participation rate in the last 40 years, the highest levels of poverty and food stamp use in history, and cooked unemployment numbers to make him look good…you might be a liberal.

Colonel Michael (“Mike”) Angley is retired from the United States Air Force, a published thriller author, and a conservative writer who fashions himself as Attila the Hun with a laptop. Mike wrote for Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government and Big Peace blogs before the Breitbart consolidation, receiving superb feedback and kudos for typically weaving in pop culture references with his far right perspectives. He enjoys writing about military affairs, national security issues, and politics and is an avid Second Amendment advocate. When he’s not writing, he’s busy annoying liberals with FaceBook posts and Twitter tweets that point out the obvious flaws and fallacies of the left.

During his 26-year USAF career, the Colonel was a Special Agent with the Office of Special Investigations (OSI). The OSI is a sister agency to the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) and has an identical mission that includes felony-level criminal, fraud, and narcotics investigations as well as counterintelligence and counterterrorism operations. His USAF experiences spanned multiple regions around the globe with five command assignments and duties at foreign, regional, theater and national levels.

He is a seasoned counterintelligence and counterespionage officer from the Cold War era, and if you ask him he’ll tell you the spy-vs-spy days were indeed the heady, glory era of espionage. During the latter half of his career he focused on counterterrorism missions in the Middle East and the Far East and operationalized many of today’s concepts for this unique arena while working the sand dunes of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and a few other “choice” locations. When Colonel Angley retired in 2007, he was a Senior Supervisory Special Agent and was in command of all worldwide OSI matters at Air Force Space Command in Colorado Springs, CO.

Mike Angley is also a published, award-winning author of three thriller novels in the “Child Finder” trilogy. His debut novel, “Child Finder,” received a glowing review from the Library Journal which placed it on its Summer Reading list in 2009. “Child Finder” and its companion sequel novels all won various awards from the Military Writers Society of America (MWSA) and the Public Safety Writers Association. In 2012, Mike was named MWSA’s “Author of the Year,” largely for work on his third novel, “Child Finder: Revelation.”

As an avid user of social media, Mike can be found and friended on Facebook (mike.angley) and followed on Twitter (@MikeAngley). His website is Following his USAF retirement, Mike and his family stayed in Colorado Springs, CO where they enjoy daily, majestic views of Pikes Peak and the Rocky Mountains.


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